The last of the mini series before I take a break from boring you with adoption related blog posts :). Not that I have a lot else to write to you that would excite you, but hey, at least you know a break is coming!
When I had the luxury of daydreaming about my future family, carefully imagining the perfect age to have children, how many, which order, that sort of thing, I always had a clear image in my head. I imagined myself wearing a white or pink sundress in a well manicured back yard, serving pink lemonade at a tea party for a beautiful little girl that looked just like Gail (Jim's little sister) while Jim read the paper in the distance on a lawn chair. Every once in a great while he would be playing catch with a little boy.
This image is so unrealistic that it cracks me up. The Parrish's with a well manicured back yard? Three dogs and lazy lawn care habits ensure that will never happen. Me in a white sundress is pretty unrealistic as I avoid wearing white and sundresses in general. Jim lounging out reading the newspaper is probably the most unrealistic thing in the whole picture... I don't think I've ever seen him read a paper in the 15 years we've been together.
And of course, I now have a cute little boy who doesn't look much like us and is way too cute.
I have already written a post about our decision to seek another adoption. At first it didn't seem like that would happen because the expense of the first one kind of made it seem impossible. I wasn't entirely sure I wanted more than one, anyway. Not until I saw how the first one went.
The first time Josiah smiled at me and recognized me as mama in a visible way, I was hooked. I knew that motherhood was for me and our hearts and home have room for at least one more little one. Giving Josiah a sibling and a big brother to that sibling would be such a blessing.
I thought maybe after having the first child in our home I wouldn't have that deep desire anymore. I thought it would be quenched by motherhood but this second time around is just as strong if not stronger. I not only want to be a mom again for myself and my husband but for our son, I've seen how much of a blessing adoption can be and I know now that I can actually be a mom (I worried a lot about that before Josiah).
It's scary going the private route without an agency. The likelihood of placement is much lower and the chances of a scam are higher. It's scary knowing that there are people who prey on adoptive parents. It's scary to know that there are people who prey on young pregnant women and try to rope them into adoption even if that isn't their choice. It's scary that these things happen that will forever alter a child's life. But when it is right, it is beautiful.
Though this road has been filled with unexpected problems, it is one worth going down a second time.
And with that, I wish you all a happy National Adoption Month. If you are at all interested in adoption in your life, please reach out to those you know who have done it. Learn everything you can about it and decide if it is right for your family. If you have never considered it and are in a position where it is a possibility, consider it for just a moment. You might surprise yourself. And it's completely, 100% okay if you decide it's not for you.
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