Whether or not it was because of my own personal decisions, the fact that I was a social recluse or that my family lived on a 6 acre llama farm 10 miles from town, I was (and am) a good girl.
Sometimes, perhaps, it was fear of punishment. Often it was respect for authority. Most often it was because being "good" was simply easier and less stressful than being "bad".
In any case, I rarely got into much trouble. My worst shenanigan was a "party" my friends had at one grandmother's house when an attempted game of sardines resulted in breaking a bed frame that surprisingly couldn't support the weight of 11 teenagers. My worst indiscretion was literally 15 minutes long, when I stole kitty collars from K*Mart and broke down in the parking lot, confessing everything to my mother and returning them to the manager, telling him I planned on grounding myself for a week for the theft.
I have been told that my lack of excitement due to my goody-goody-ness is something I will regret one day. That somehow being a good kid has ruined my chances of having truly "lived"-- that somehow by following the rules I have ruined any chances of having any fun ever.
I'm here to tell you-- that's a big fat lie. Growing up a good girl definitely had it's perks and I think it's time to celebrate the rule followers and the "innocents". I'm not going to judge anyone else's experiences thus far in life, but I'd like to share with you some of the things that have come from being a borderline brown noser.
1. Good girls marry good boys. And good boys make excellent husbands. Sure, a bad boy with a soft side seems like a good idea, but my nerdy, graphic calculator toting boyfriend of high school not only turned into a loving, caring, awesome husband, but a super smart electrical engineer. If there is one thing young ladies take from this post it's this-- go for the good guys.
On the topic of marriage, having married as a virgin to a virgin (part of the good girl thing, I guess) I can tell you how awesome it is to come into marriage with a clean slate and without any guilt. It might not seem romantic, but let me tell you, I don't for a second regret this and neither does my awesome, good guy husband.
2. Authority likes me. Parent teacher conferences were always the best. I got a free cookie and sat around while other adults told my parents what a joy I was to have in class. Every time I visited a friends house I was treated like the best kid in the world because offering to help with dishes was basically asking for sainthood.
Authority also trusts me. So much so that when as drum major I bought a 6 foot sub for the band on homecoming and needed to cut it into smaller pieces, the ladies in the lunch room not only gave me a huge knife, but just let me walk out of the cafeteria with it. On the short walk from there to the band room I passed the secretary and the DARE police officer and no one even batted an eye at the senior girl walking down the hall with the knife the size of her forearm.
3. People trust me. Don't worry, that statement wasn't followed by an evil cackle. People trust me because you can trust trustworthy people and I do my best to be just that. However, there were times when people told me secrets simply because I was the "quiet, good girl". One group of high school boys loved to tell me what they were planning to do to another guys locker, or how they were going to prank the girls basketball team, because for some reason, I looked like someone who wouldn't tell.
4. I remember all of my fun. I have personally never seen the draw to getting drunk. I have never understood the excitement of losing control of some of your mental capabilities. It sounds frightening to me, to be honest. But I can say that every time I have been at a social gathering and had a good time, I remember every second of it and never once had to puke afterwards (okay, that one time when I ate something bad, but you get the point). In all of my funny drunk stories, I am most definitely not the star, and I prefer it that way.
5. My parents never had ammunition and we always got along. Back to authority liking the good girl, by the time I was in high school my parents didn't ask me where I was going or when I would be back, because they knew it was clean fun and I'd be back at a decent hour. This is partially because they were laid back parents, but it was also because they knew I wouldn't do anything that would make them nervous. They rarely had something to punish me for and therefore didn't often get a chance to use an indiscretion to tell me I couldn't do or have something. Looking back, never having a rebellious stage, unless you count getting married at 19 when my parents didn't want me to, it was great being best friends with my mom through those awkward teenage years.
6. When I cuss, people listen. I don't believe in using inappropriate language. I know some people use it more frequently than I do, and that is perfectly fine for them, but I feel if I am representing the God of the universe, my husband, my job, my church, etc., I should always be on my best behavior, and I would rather honey come from my lips than vulgarity. So I don't cuss, at least very rarely. But when I do, jaws drop. Rooms fall silent. People pay attention. Things get real when the good girl lets one fly. There are two perks to this. One, people almost always listen to my side in an argument because if I get heated enough to cuss I must be very serious. Two, cussing could someday save my life. I once dropped a knife while doing dishes, cut my hand and uttered a less-than-proper word and Jim was by my side almost instantly, at non-human speed, assuming I was dying if I was saying such a word.
7. People assume I'm smart. Because teachers loved me, people assumed I was a great student. Sure, I stayed in the A and B range (except for Algebra 2, stupid math), but other students always thought I knew what I was talking about. While I am quick to admit my intellectual shortcomings, it is fun to know that by simply being a good girl some people might take what I say as fact, because I just "seem" smart.
8. The risks I make count. Sure, maybe I never went to a party that could have been broken up by the police. Maybe I've never been in a somewhat unsafe situation. Maybe I'm not the kind of risk taker that has great, funny stories to tell about the time she did something stupid.
But I do have the stories about the risks I've taken. Marrying young to my high school sweetheart. Asking directors to have their bands play my pieces. Befriending people that intimidate me. Going through the adoption process. These are risks worth taking.
I was most definitely not a perfect child and had my moments of being a hooligan without a doubt. I also have many friends who had much more interesting shenanigans than my cat collar story. This post is in no way meant to offend them or anyone else, so just read it for what it is and maybe laugh if something what funny, okay?
