Our first shopping trip as a married couple consisted of groceries and filling in the marriage present gaps (like garbage bins and a broom... who asks for those on a registry, anyway?) at Wal*Mart. I remember checking out with the overflowing cart and almost crying at the $250 amount I was asked to pay. I had never spent that much on a shopping trip up until that point. Being an adult was going to be hard.Out of necessity, we lived dirt cheap while we lived in Rapid. I fed Jim and I for under $300 a month, often times closer to $200. Our utilities were included in our low rent and we paid for internet, phone and car insurance. We filled one car with gas every week and the other once a month or so. If there was anything leftover (which there usually was) it went to Jim's school loans.
Back then, I didn't care where I bought it, who made it, if it was healthy or unhealthy--as long as it was cheap and usable. Ramen noodles, Mac and Cheese and *shudder* Beefaroni were common in our kitchen. We didn't buy produce because it went bad too quickly (when you buy from a large Wal*Mart, the produce quality is low. Our fridge was never cool enough. And... I was lazy).
When Jim was blessed with his job we were warned that we would definitely spend more money, it came with the territory. And they were right-- our mortgage and utilities are higher than in Rapid. And we have pets now, different interests and we like to eat much better than we did back then. I also don't buy based on sales anymore, but on quality of product (but, if a quality product is one sale, I'm not going to complain about it!).
I have come to believe that knowing what you are buying and from who is very important. Where you spend your money is where you place your support, whether you know it or not. This is why I try to purchase everything I can, from groceries to house stuff, intentionally.
When we can, Jim and I buy local, buy organic/fair trade, buy from companies who treat us well, buy from companies who do things we support and buy products that really work for us.
Local--
As someone who works in a small town, locally owned business, I know the importance of knowing who you buy your products from. If everyone bought their music equipment on-line, I wouldn't have a job. And that would not be cool. As someone who frequents the downtown stores, I also know that if no one bought coffee from the Lampstand or cute clothes from the Clothing Closet, I wouldn't have my favorite coffee shop or clothing store conveniently located because they would also have to close. I would rather give my money to Kendra than the unknown owner of a Starbucks.
Since it applies to almost everything, I will have a little more on local in the sections below.
Organic and fair trade--
This is worth a post by itself so I will keep it brief here. But when making a decision regarding my health, without being a biologist or chemist who knows exactly how my body reacts to chemicals sprayed on food, I choose to play it safe. And without all the facts, fair trade is a better chance that I'm making a compassionate decision.
If I can buy locally grown produce from a garden down the road or honey from bees within an hour of my house, it tastes better and I know the people growing it and can ask them exactly what they used to grow it. I can even make requests for what to grow next year!
Companies that treat us well--
I try to be a pretty nice customer. I don't like to cause a stir and usually let things go. I don't believe I'm always right as a customer at all. But, I do expect you to treat me with the respect you should treat everyone as a fellow human. Rudeness, or in the case of a business that is not to be named, billing, warrant a letter to a manager or higher up from me. I write these letters and have them certified so they know that I know they received the letter. If things are not handled after that letter, you won't receive my business. Local or not. I choose not to support people who treat others poorly.
I'll take this back to buying locally for a second. In a business where you know the owner on a first name basis, you usually get better service, because it's a friend treating a friend right. I walk into our local movie theatre and before I'm to the counter, my favorite drink is made and she's handing my husband cheesy popcorn. I come into the Lampstand and every person behind the counter says "Hi, Kristin!" before getting my favorite beverage. Someone comes into the music store that I know and I greet them by name and do whatever I can to help... or, if I'm being honest, run and get Bob or Luis, because, well, that's what most people want at the store :).
Companies that do things we support--
It's hard to know what companies support without a little research but I like to do it with as many products as possible. When I can, I like to buy clothes from companies like Prana (who uses Fair Trade cotton), Life is Good (with a lot of donations to charities we support), and other companies that give back to the world in one way or another. When I can, I buy Bear Naked granola who has a recycling program with their bags. I appreciate that my car is a Subaru, a car company known for it's "green efficient" plants.
I shop at places in Ogallala that donate to things I believe in all the time. Almost every local business has their hand in 4-H, Boy and Girl Scouts, school stuff, proms, local 5K races, fundraisers, you name it. Easy to feel good knowing that your money can help with things for the kids and people in your community.
Things that work for us--
Sometimes, I find something that is just awesome for me. I love Saucony running shoes. I have looked into their practices as a company but couldn't find a lot good or bad. They aren't an evil company by any means, I just didn't find a lot of things they get involved in that are important to me. They aren't local, they don't use fair trade products. But I can run in them without injury, which is pretty flippin' fantastic.
If I were to find out they were funding something awful like dog fights or something I would have to find another shoe. Luckily, they aren't. So, Saucony it is. They don't fit the mold. I can't buy them locally and I have no reason to feel good about my purchase other than lack of personal injury while running. But that is enough for me!
Sometimes, you gotta do what works for you. Which is why you won't see me judging people who buy non-organic produce or boxed meals or walk out of Wal*Mart. Heck, you will probably see me in there a time or two, even if I do try to avoid it. And you will notice the Ramen Noodles that still end up in my cart (my husband loves them) or that I go to North Platte to do some shopping every now and again. Sometimes, the best decision and the decision we have to make aren't the same thing in our consumer lives and that's okay.
I'll just keep doing my best to buy wisely and I hope y'all do the same.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Wife-ing
I will admit right away that I am writing this with a bit of an advantage. We all have certain areas of our lives where we struggle and where we thrive. Marriage, thus far, has been a place of "thriving" for me. I am fortunate to have a husband who for some odd reason loves me more than I could possibly deserve and shares the same zeal for a God-glorifying marriage.
I won't say our marriage is perfect, because that would be a lie. I also won't give you the almost mandatory "we have had our struggles", because that isn't the point of this post. For the most part, Jim and I are happy as pie (Jim loves pie), and I would like to share some of our opinions on marriage. Because I can. 'Cause this is my blog.
My husband and I were high school sweethearts and we knew when I was 14 that we would end up married. This gave us ample time to learn everything we could about marriage. So we read. A lot. We made opinions, understanding books and scriptures and talks in one way, and then another. Then, after we were married, our understanding changed again... and again as we got older.
There were a few things that we concluded early on that have always been our opinion from 14 on and I thought I might share those.
1. Love your spouse. Jim loves me unconditionally. I need his love and acceptance more than ever when I am doing something that will need forgiveness. I also need his love when I have just come off of an incredible "wife" day with a clean house, dinner on the table, appointments set and all the good wife things accomplished.
2. Be lovable. This seems to be the one that is forgotten in today's "love" culture. I make Jim's job of loving me unconditionally easier if I am doing things that are lovely. I make mistakes and can be downright unlovable at times, no doubt. However, when these bad times are the exception and not the rule, not only is Jim a happier husband, but I am a better human being in general. Which should kind of be a goal of mine...
3. Respect your spouse. My husband needs me to respect him even when I don't agree with a decision or if he makes a poor decision (a real one, not just one I think is poor). He also needs to know I respect him when he is being Super-Husband, which is pretty much all of the time.
4. Be respectable. Same concept. It makes the respecter have a much easier time when the other person is acting in a respect worthy manner. Love and respect can be built or torn down through continuous actions. I don't know about you, but I would rather be continually building up good things.
5. Make your spouse a top priority. Not "the marriage", not "marriage traditions", not "the family". The actual living, breathing human being you made vows to.
A marriage isn't a third entity in the house that needs work like a leaking faucet.
Traditional values have their place but they aren't the end all. Jim and I have pretty traditional roles-- because it fits us pretty well. But just because I'm the one that does the cleaning and he does the heavy lifting doesn't mean that is how all couples should live.
And while we love our parents and will love our children, Jim will always be a top priority. Jim is more important than any other earthly relationship. Not only for our sake, but for the sake of those around us. Happy couples are better to be around than unhappy.
6. Be cool with change. If we're lucky, we keep growing and changing and learning our whole life. That means, lessons on Jim are never ending for me, because he's always changing. A few years ago, being a good wife to Jim didn't include meal planning during peak cycling season. But now it does. Jim is a constant learning experience!
So there you go. Just a few things that Jim and I believe and they make "us" work. Go spoil your spouse now!
I won't say our marriage is perfect, because that would be a lie. I also won't give you the almost mandatory "we have had our struggles", because that isn't the point of this post. For the most part, Jim and I are happy as pie (Jim loves pie), and I would like to share some of our opinions on marriage. Because I can. 'Cause this is my blog.
My husband and I were high school sweethearts and we knew when I was 14 that we would end up married. This gave us ample time to learn everything we could about marriage. So we read. A lot. We made opinions, understanding books and scriptures and talks in one way, and then another. Then, after we were married, our understanding changed again... and again as we got older.
There were a few things that we concluded early on that have always been our opinion from 14 on and I thought I might share those.
1. Love your spouse. Jim loves me unconditionally. I need his love and acceptance more than ever when I am doing something that will need forgiveness. I also need his love when I have just come off of an incredible "wife" day with a clean house, dinner on the table, appointments set and all the good wife things accomplished.
2. Be lovable. This seems to be the one that is forgotten in today's "love" culture. I make Jim's job of loving me unconditionally easier if I am doing things that are lovely. I make mistakes and can be downright unlovable at times, no doubt. However, when these bad times are the exception and not the rule, not only is Jim a happier husband, but I am a better human being in general. Which should kind of be a goal of mine...
3. Respect your spouse. My husband needs me to respect him even when I don't agree with a decision or if he makes a poor decision (a real one, not just one I think is poor). He also needs to know I respect him when he is being Super-Husband, which is pretty much all of the time.
4. Be respectable. Same concept. It makes the respecter have a much easier time when the other person is acting in a respect worthy manner. Love and respect can be built or torn down through continuous actions. I don't know about you, but I would rather be continually building up good things.
5. Make your spouse a top priority. Not "the marriage", not "marriage traditions", not "the family". The actual living, breathing human being you made vows to.
A marriage isn't a third entity in the house that needs work like a leaking faucet.
Traditional values have their place but they aren't the end all. Jim and I have pretty traditional roles-- because it fits us pretty well. But just because I'm the one that does the cleaning and he does the heavy lifting doesn't mean that is how all couples should live.
And while we love our parents and will love our children, Jim will always be a top priority. Jim is more important than any other earthly relationship. Not only for our sake, but for the sake of those around us. Happy couples are better to be around than unhappy.
6. Be cool with change. If we're lucky, we keep growing and changing and learning our whole life. That means, lessons on Jim are never ending for me, because he's always changing. A few years ago, being a good wife to Jim didn't include meal planning during peak cycling season. But now it does. Jim is a constant learning experience!
So there you go. Just a few things that Jim and I believe and they make "us" work. Go spoil your spouse now!
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Why I Want To Be A Mom
It comes as no surprise to those who know me personally that I would like to be a mom someday and that, thus far, I have not had that particular prayer answered. For many years, I was given a peace about it. I often focused my prayers on other friends who wanted children because, to me, it was so much more important that they got to be parents than me. I've never felt very qualified for the position of "mom", to be honest, and I knew people who were, perhaps, better suited to the task. I also always wanted to celebrate with them more than I wanted to celebrate for me.
I have a lot of knowledge that keeps me from feeling jealous or upset for too long, though I'm human and I'm not always totally peaceful about anything.
I know God has perfect timing. I've seen it in my own life often enough to know that sometimes it doesn't seem perfect until I can look back on it.
I know God has His reasons and I may never know what they are.
I know God works in every life differently, and I can't compare my life to anyone else's. It's hard. I'm not proud when I feel jealous towards a pregnant high school girl.
I know that I'll be okay, even without kids. In the long run, if I die having never been a mother, while mother's would probably fight me on this, I will have still lived a full life if I live it for Him.
None of this changes the fact that I do want to be the mother of my husband's child.
While I have a deep desire to be a mom myself, there are more important reasons for me to pray that I will one day be a mother. My longing is important, and I recognize that, but it's not all about me and what I want.
First and foremost, my husband deserves a chance at being a father. He wants to experience being the husband of a pregnant wife (because he is crazy, apparently). He wants to experience the midnight feedings and diaper changes. He wants to have a little carrier for his bike for a toddler to ride along. He wants to teach them how to be kind to others and to love God. He wants to experience every aspect of fathering. And he'd be so good at it. He is an amazing man. I've been told we are a good couple a few times in the past, and while I beam with pride about it I know it isn't me-- it's mostly him. If I could give Jim one thing in this world it would be to give him a baby with his blue eyes and black hair.
Second, my father. My mom has been a grandmother a few times over, and my dad has become a grandfather by extension. My child would be his first biological grandchild. My dad was quiet as I grew up but I know he would be a spoiling grandparent. As he struggles with bladder cancer and disliking his job, I see the fun-loving man that I know becoming sadder by the day. Oh, the thought of being able to call him and tell him he's going to be a grandpa and picturing his smile, even though his response will most likely be a calm "well, that's nice".
My mom. who has literally raised children her entire life, having me twenty years after her firstborn and then becoming full time babysitter for my niece soon after I got married. I want to give her a grandchild that she can enjoy at short intervals, but hand back at the end of the day. I want to be able to call my mom for advice on things I know nothing about and to let her know every day how important she is to me and to her grandchild (because I'm pretty sure I'm not going to know how to do anything without my mom's help).
There are many others who have sent prayers for us and I would love to give them a reason to put a check in the answered column of their prayer journals. There are others who have joined the ranks of motherhood since we started praying for each other and I would love to be able to have that one more thing in common with them.
Lastly, I want to be a mom for the child I hope is coming. Because that boy or girl will grow up in a family that knows Jesus. He or she will have Jim for a father, my parents as grandparents. And I will be able to surround that baby with some of the most amazing people I know.
Lucky kid. Better hurry and get here.
I have a lot of knowledge that keeps me from feeling jealous or upset for too long, though I'm human and I'm not always totally peaceful about anything.
I know God has perfect timing. I've seen it in my own life often enough to know that sometimes it doesn't seem perfect until I can look back on it.
I know God has His reasons and I may never know what they are.
I know God works in every life differently, and I can't compare my life to anyone else's. It's hard. I'm not proud when I feel jealous towards a pregnant high school girl.
I know that I'll be okay, even without kids. In the long run, if I die having never been a mother, while mother's would probably fight me on this, I will have still lived a full life if I live it for Him.
None of this changes the fact that I do want to be the mother of my husband's child.
While I have a deep desire to be a mom myself, there are more important reasons for me to pray that I will one day be a mother. My longing is important, and I recognize that, but it's not all about me and what I want.
First and foremost, my husband deserves a chance at being a father. He wants to experience being the husband of a pregnant wife (because he is crazy, apparently). He wants to experience the midnight feedings and diaper changes. He wants to have a little carrier for his bike for a toddler to ride along. He wants to teach them how to be kind to others and to love God. He wants to experience every aspect of fathering. And he'd be so good at it. He is an amazing man. I've been told we are a good couple a few times in the past, and while I beam with pride about it I know it isn't me-- it's mostly him. If I could give Jim one thing in this world it would be to give him a baby with his blue eyes and black hair.
Second, my father. My mom has been a grandmother a few times over, and my dad has become a grandfather by extension. My child would be his first biological grandchild. My dad was quiet as I grew up but I know he would be a spoiling grandparent. As he struggles with bladder cancer and disliking his job, I see the fun-loving man that I know becoming sadder by the day. Oh, the thought of being able to call him and tell him he's going to be a grandpa and picturing his smile, even though his response will most likely be a calm "well, that's nice".
My mom. who has literally raised children her entire life, having me twenty years after her firstborn and then becoming full time babysitter for my niece soon after I got married. I want to give her a grandchild that she can enjoy at short intervals, but hand back at the end of the day. I want to be able to call my mom for advice on things I know nothing about and to let her know every day how important she is to me and to her grandchild (because I'm pretty sure I'm not going to know how to do anything without my mom's help).
There are many others who have sent prayers for us and I would love to give them a reason to put a check in the answered column of their prayer journals. There are others who have joined the ranks of motherhood since we started praying for each other and I would love to be able to have that one more thing in common with them.
Lastly, I want to be a mom for the child I hope is coming. Because that boy or girl will grow up in a family that knows Jesus. He or she will have Jim for a father, my parents as grandparents. And I will be able to surround that baby with some of the most amazing people I know.
Lucky kid. Better hurry and get here.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Simple Eating- Homemade Stuff
I've written a few posts in the past about food. They are typically scatterbrained, as I have a lot of opinions on food and it's one of my favorite topics. So I thought I'd break it down and make it easier on myself, and maybe my few readers.
My goal, which has been failing miserably this summer, is to go to the store twice a month (when Jim is in training mode, I end up going a lot for milk and coming home with more than just milk...). The big trip at the first and a "replenish" trip halfway through. I do this because as a minimalist, I don't like to buy "stuff", but food... well, food is easily where my money goes every month. This makes grocery day a big deal. It takes me a while to shop and it's not anywhere close to over when I get home.
I have a passion for healthy, eco-friendly, fair trade and local food. I love the feeling of an energetic afternoon after a perfectly portioned lunch, or feeling "light" after a big meal because it was made for energy. I also love coming home from the grocery store and knowing I don't have trash to put in my body or a lot of trash for the garbage can.
My favorite way to eat this way is to make a lot of stuff from scratch. So, on grocery day, I come home, unload and instead of shoving everything in the fridge right away, I start making some of our kitchen staples.
I thought I would introduce nutrition on this blog with a list of quick and easy made-at-home stuff I do almost every month.
1. Almond milk. Soak almonds over night, drain. Blend with water-- For every 1 Cup almond, use 4 Cups water. Blend with only half of the water at first, seems to make it more milky. Strain with cheese cloth or strainer. Add a bit of vanilla extract if you'd like. If you want, save the almond meal leftover.
2. Vegetable Broth. So, I prep the veggies I buy for easy access. I cut up celery, carrots, onions and peppers so they are easy for recipes and snacks. I put all of the bits I would normally toss in a pot. I fill that pot with water, add a bit of basil and boil while I do the rest of my prepping. Drain. Pour into ice cube trays. Freeze. I pop out a few (which are 3 Tbsp sizes, FYI) for meals later. And my house smells amazing.
3. Tomato sauces. Easiest thing ever. I don't use measurements anymore with this so I can't give you specifics. Put I chop up tomatoes and stick them in a sauce pan with a bit of oil and herbs until mushy. Then I blend to the consistency I want. For typical tomato paste, I add a bit of basil and thyme. For pizza, I add basil and red pepper flakes. For a more Mexican flavor, I add onion, cumin and chilli powder.
4.Chocolate Sauce. 1/3 C pitted dates, soaked. 1/2 C milk of choice. 3 Tbsp to 1/4 C cocoa powder. A little bit of vanilla. Blend dates, milk and vanilla until smooth. Add to sauce pan, heat until thickened, add cocoa powder. Delicious. Especially in the almond milk listed above.
5. Granola. There are tons of recipes online and mine is different every month. I do, however, sometimes use some of the almond meal from the almond milk. But, I throw a pile of dry ingredients (seeds, nuts, rolled oats, etc.) in with some wet ones (mainly honey and maple syrup) and bake it.
6. Peanut Butter. Again, I do this so often I don't measure anymore. A pile of peanuts with a bit of peanut oil, blended to the consistency you want. If the peanuts are "fresh", it takes less oil. I use honey roasted when I can, because it tastes better.
There are many more things I make at home but these are the essentials, made right away when I walk in the door after a morning of grocery shopping. I recommend trying any of them with your own flare, because they take a lot less time than you would think and taste so much better than the stuff you can buy.
My goal, which has been failing miserably this summer, is to go to the store twice a month (when Jim is in training mode, I end up going a lot for milk and coming home with more than just milk...). The big trip at the first and a "replenish" trip halfway through. I do this because as a minimalist, I don't like to buy "stuff", but food... well, food is easily where my money goes every month. This makes grocery day a big deal. It takes me a while to shop and it's not anywhere close to over when I get home.
I have a passion for healthy, eco-friendly, fair trade and local food. I love the feeling of an energetic afternoon after a perfectly portioned lunch, or feeling "light" after a big meal because it was made for energy. I also love coming home from the grocery store and knowing I don't have trash to put in my body or a lot of trash for the garbage can.
My favorite way to eat this way is to make a lot of stuff from scratch. So, on grocery day, I come home, unload and instead of shoving everything in the fridge right away, I start making some of our kitchen staples.
I thought I would introduce nutrition on this blog with a list of quick and easy made-at-home stuff I do almost every month.
1. Almond milk. Soak almonds over night, drain. Blend with water-- For every 1 Cup almond, use 4 Cups water. Blend with only half of the water at first, seems to make it more milky. Strain with cheese cloth or strainer. Add a bit of vanilla extract if you'd like. If you want, save the almond meal leftover.
2. Vegetable Broth. So, I prep the veggies I buy for easy access. I cut up celery, carrots, onions and peppers so they are easy for recipes and snacks. I put all of the bits I would normally toss in a pot. I fill that pot with water, add a bit of basil and boil while I do the rest of my prepping. Drain. Pour into ice cube trays. Freeze. I pop out a few (which are 3 Tbsp sizes, FYI) for meals later. And my house smells amazing.
3. Tomato sauces. Easiest thing ever. I don't use measurements anymore with this so I can't give you specifics. Put I chop up tomatoes and stick them in a sauce pan with a bit of oil and herbs until mushy. Then I blend to the consistency I want. For typical tomato paste, I add a bit of basil and thyme. For pizza, I add basil and red pepper flakes. For a more Mexican flavor, I add onion, cumin and chilli powder.
4.Chocolate Sauce. 1/3 C pitted dates, soaked. 1/2 C milk of choice. 3 Tbsp to 1/4 C cocoa powder. A little bit of vanilla. Blend dates, milk and vanilla until smooth. Add to sauce pan, heat until thickened, add cocoa powder. Delicious. Especially in the almond milk listed above.
5. Granola. There are tons of recipes online and mine is different every month. I do, however, sometimes use some of the almond meal from the almond milk. But, I throw a pile of dry ingredients (seeds, nuts, rolled oats, etc.) in with some wet ones (mainly honey and maple syrup) and bake it.
6. Peanut Butter. Again, I do this so often I don't measure anymore. A pile of peanuts with a bit of peanut oil, blended to the consistency you want. If the peanuts are "fresh", it takes less oil. I use honey roasted when I can, because it tastes better.
There are many more things I make at home but these are the essentials, made right away when I walk in the door after a morning of grocery shopping. I recommend trying any of them with your own flare, because they take a lot less time than you would think and taste so much better than the stuff you can buy.
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
Treat Others Well
The first lesson I remember learning from Sunday school was the "Golden Rule". Though I struggled with paying attention in Sunday school, being terribly shy and tempted by the granola bars my mom would send me with, for some reason the "Golden Rule" made it through the cotton-stuffed ears of a girl barely listening. To this day, I can picture the little class at my grandmother's church and the words written in a somewhat festive font to make kids more interested.
Multiples times a day the "Golden Rule" goes through my head. It's rare that I go into a store, drive down the road or have any social interaction and these words don't come to mind. I do my best to act on them, going so far as to do things that people wouldn't notice, or that might even seem a bit strange. I don't go down busy aisles as to not inconvenience those already there. I often let at least one person in front of me in the check out lines, because their time is valuable and I can wait. I apologize when people bump into me. I pick up everything I find on the floor so no one trips on it or has to pick it up later. And while I often blame my social idiocy, I often stay in the background in social situations as to not get in the way of everyone's fun.
I am also painfully aware of the times that these words don't change my behavior. The times I leave the house in a rush and feel as though what I'm doing is more important than others. The times I drive inconsiderately, choose the closest parking spot to the door, brush past other people to get the items I need and leave. The times I get this feeling of being important and therefore my needs come first.
With these words running on loop in my life everyday, causing me to do things other people might not even think about or causing me a lot of guilt when I fail, I look at the world around me. I tell you from one broken person to another, I'm not the only one failing.
I see blatant rudeness daily. Social media has allowed a stupid level of bravery to appear behind the keyboards of thousands of unkind people. When confidence increases online, these people also become more outspoken in public and the rest of the world allows it because we aren't sure how to respond. Rudeness, gone unchallenged, encourages more rudeness. "Freedom of speech" has become an argument for things like calling policemen "pigs" and being cruel to those around (I use the "pig" comment because I've seen it), even though "freedom of speech" is really about our right to peaceably petition the government when we see a problem without them retaliating or making laws against it. Freedom of speech wasn't meant for cursing others.
I see unconscious rudeness more often. Hurried schedules and hectic lives have created a herd of selfish, drone like humans that do their errands on autopilot without consideration of anyone else-- these people park their big cars in small spots and leave their carts in the parking lot at the grocery store. A sense of importance has people doing reckless things to property that isn't their own-- these are the people that left the beaches of Lake Mac covered in garbage after the holiday weekend or those people who let their dogs poop in yards not their own without cleaning it up. A need for instant gratification and love of the power of money has left little patience and humility-- these are circumstances like the customer who recently called the store and demanded we have someone come in on his day off to fix this man's guitar because the man was willing to pay for the service.
These are just examples. I know I have had conversations in the past where I agreed whole-heartedly about the jerks that leave their carts in the parking lot. However, though I have never done that one particular rude thing, I have done countless others due to selfishness or business.
I won't say the world is always rude, because we have all seen examples of kindness. Customer service that goes above and beyond, the person who helps you pick up the pile of papers you drop, the person who bought your drink at Starbucks. These situations make us feel good, because they ARE good.
The positives of treating others well far outweigh the possible downfalls. While going out of your way to make someone's day better might seem inconvenient, there are a lot of reasons to do it anyway. It makes your public image better at the shallowest. It also makes you happier-- Michael Steger, A University of Louisville psychologist, and his team did studies where people were carefully watched for three to four weeks doing "pleasurable" activities, presented in a "you deserve it" kind of way, and another control group helping others. The subjects had to report mood and self worth at the end of the day. Overwhelmingly, and unsurprisingly, those who helped others had more self worth and were happier.
On the flip side, having someone do something kind to you is also a major mood booster. I don't think I need science to back me up when I say, when someone does something nice for you it makes you feel better.
The feelings we get from kind treatment, both in giving and receiving, are also contagious. Doing it once, we want to do it again. If the cycle continued, imagine the world we would live in.
And like rudeness left unchallenged creates more rudeness, kindness left unchallenged creates kind people.
And kind people who do it for the glory of God will have the good seats in Heaven.
Treat others how you want to be treated and love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind.
This is how we memorized it, anyway. If you were a Sunday school student you probably memorized it closer to the Bible your church used, and if you weren't, you have probably heard something close to it a few times before. I admit that daily I fail to love my God with all of my anything, so the last half of the verse might be a topic for another time (though not doing the first half of the verse would suggest I am not doing the second), but today, I wanted to talk about the words that have haunted me my entire life.Multiples times a day the "Golden Rule" goes through my head. It's rare that I go into a store, drive down the road or have any social interaction and these words don't come to mind. I do my best to act on them, going so far as to do things that people wouldn't notice, or that might even seem a bit strange. I don't go down busy aisles as to not inconvenience those already there. I often let at least one person in front of me in the check out lines, because their time is valuable and I can wait. I apologize when people bump into me. I pick up everything I find on the floor so no one trips on it or has to pick it up later. And while I often blame my social idiocy, I often stay in the background in social situations as to not get in the way of everyone's fun.
I am also painfully aware of the times that these words don't change my behavior. The times I leave the house in a rush and feel as though what I'm doing is more important than others. The times I drive inconsiderately, choose the closest parking spot to the door, brush past other people to get the items I need and leave. The times I get this feeling of being important and therefore my needs come first.
With these words running on loop in my life everyday, causing me to do things other people might not even think about or causing me a lot of guilt when I fail, I look at the world around me. I tell you from one broken person to another, I'm not the only one failing.
I see blatant rudeness daily. Social media has allowed a stupid level of bravery to appear behind the keyboards of thousands of unkind people. When confidence increases online, these people also become more outspoken in public and the rest of the world allows it because we aren't sure how to respond. Rudeness, gone unchallenged, encourages more rudeness. "Freedom of speech" has become an argument for things like calling policemen "pigs" and being cruel to those around (I use the "pig" comment because I've seen it), even though "freedom of speech" is really about our right to peaceably petition the government when we see a problem without them retaliating or making laws against it. Freedom of speech wasn't meant for cursing others.
I see unconscious rudeness more often. Hurried schedules and hectic lives have created a herd of selfish, drone like humans that do their errands on autopilot without consideration of anyone else-- these people park their big cars in small spots and leave their carts in the parking lot at the grocery store. A sense of importance has people doing reckless things to property that isn't their own-- these are the people that left the beaches of Lake Mac covered in garbage after the holiday weekend or those people who let their dogs poop in yards not their own without cleaning it up. A need for instant gratification and love of the power of money has left little patience and humility-- these are circumstances like the customer who recently called the store and demanded we have someone come in on his day off to fix this man's guitar because the man was willing to pay for the service.
These are just examples. I know I have had conversations in the past where I agreed whole-heartedly about the jerks that leave their carts in the parking lot. However, though I have never done that one particular rude thing, I have done countless others due to selfishness or business.
I won't say the world is always rude, because we have all seen examples of kindness. Customer service that goes above and beyond, the person who helps you pick up the pile of papers you drop, the person who bought your drink at Starbucks. These situations make us feel good, because they ARE good.
The positives of treating others well far outweigh the possible downfalls. While going out of your way to make someone's day better might seem inconvenient, there are a lot of reasons to do it anyway. It makes your public image better at the shallowest. It also makes you happier-- Michael Steger, A University of Louisville psychologist, and his team did studies where people were carefully watched for three to four weeks doing "pleasurable" activities, presented in a "you deserve it" kind of way, and another control group helping others. The subjects had to report mood and self worth at the end of the day. Overwhelmingly, and unsurprisingly, those who helped others had more self worth and were happier.
On the flip side, having someone do something kind to you is also a major mood booster. I don't think I need science to back me up when I say, when someone does something nice for you it makes you feel better.
The feelings we get from kind treatment, both in giving and receiving, are also contagious. Doing it once, we want to do it again. If the cycle continued, imagine the world we would live in.
And like rudeness left unchallenged creates more rudeness, kindness left unchallenged creates kind people.
And kind people who do it for the glory of God will have the good seats in Heaven.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)