We'll Do It Again

The past couple of weeks have been rough.

It started with an innocent call to our attorney to check on the progress of our adoption finalization.  We had passed the estimated 6 month mark so we were just curious if we were on track.  It turned out we and a handful of families were stuck in the middle of what could end up being a pretty massive dispute between the courts and adoption agencies.  Without knowing which details I can share publicly at this point, all I can say is that our finalization looked like it was put on hold for an undetermined amount of time. 

The initial shock-- and the 24 hours after when it wasn't really made clear to us that Josiah was safely ours no matter the outcome (imagine 24 hours of not knowing if you could keep your child or not)-- was followed by calls to governors and attorney generals, vague prayer requests and a lot of tears.  Being assured that Josiah was ours, we went on to think about the secondary things that a prolonged finalization would cause. 

The adoption tax credit, something that we counted on to pay back the loan we took with my parents to secure Josiah, has a statute of limitations on it that would be in jeopardy if we don't finalize this year.  Even silly things like not being able to finally show pictures of our sweet little one on social media is getting more frustrating.  Our little boy can't have a birth certificate until he is finalized, or a social security number.

Most importantly, we can't adopt again until we are finalized.  And though this has been one of the most expensive, stressful, hard and unpredictable chapters of my life, I have never been so sure that I wanted to jump in again and to jump in soon. 

As of a couple of days ago, we were finally given some hope that our finalization will happen in a few weeks (thank the Lord!) so I now am getting excited to start the hard work again.

If we end up parents to Josiah alone, we will be overjoyed at the opportunity to raise such a wonderful young man.  We will do our best to raise him correctly and will love him until our last breath.  If God does provide another opportunity, however, we so look forward to being a part of another story.  We look forward to holding another tiny baby and watching all of the firsts and all of the lasts.  We hope to provide our children with a sibling, so our curly haired boy can be the blessing of an older brother and Josiah can be blessed by a younger brother or sister.  A built in playmate (maybe a built in fight-mate, too). 

We aren't sure how we are going to proceed once things are finalized with Josiah but we know we want to proceed soon.  So friends, I come before you asking again for your help.  Some prayers are always appreciated, and if you happen to meet someone who might need us... send them our way.  We are patient and believe that God has a plan for us, either way.


Hopefully, we will finalize very soon and you will finally see the pictures you have patiently been waiting for!

6 Months a Mother

6 months a mother and still none the wiser.

6 months a mother and still worried I'm doing it wrong.

6 months a mother and we tummy time 6 times a day.

6 months a mother and we practice sign language with song.

5 bottles a day and one more before bed.

5 minutes at the beginning of every nap I pat his back.

5 times we've tried cereal with a bowl and spoon. 

5 people I'm grateful for, who pick up my slack *. 

4 books every day, we read together in his chair.

4 AM I'm up and running, literally... I run.

4 times a day we step outside to shop, walk or play.

4 chores at night, before the day can be done.

3 naps a day, and hour or more a piece.

3 dogs follow us around hoping for attention.

3 bottles I wash over and over again.

3 educational CDs we listen to, hoping for retention.

2 of us hoping we don't screw this kid up.

2 days a week Jim is home with us all day.

2 piano recitals every day where Josiah (and the dogs) sing along.

2 times a day Josiah and I pray

1 little boy we love so very much.

1 chance to raise him the best that we can.

1 more day before he's another day older :(.

1 huge (little) blessing, part of God's plan.

* You know who you are.