So for those who haven't gotten around to asking, or who have gotten my short version answer of "nothing has happened yet", here is where we are at in the second adoption process.
Nothing has happened yet.
We are active with a new agency. To be honest, switching agencies has been a scary transition because they do things differently than our last agency and we don't know what to trust as being the "best" way. It's hard not to see the old agency as doing things "right" because they are what we know, and we can look at our son as proof that their system works. However, we also have an awesome God and though I sometimes struggle with not being able to see what He's doing, we have to trust that He knows what agency we're with and is with us through the wait.
Our new agency is primarily online based, so our printed profiles aren't being shown as often as they were at the previous agency, but we recently re-printed our second set. We aren't sure if this is good or not.
We are open to a child or children up to a few months old of any race with varying degrees of drug usage depending on the particular drug.
Process wise, this adoption process was easier because we knew the list of to-do's to get going so it was easy to get started.
Emotionally, this has been a harder adoption process than the first, at least for me. Most well meaning comments are "it will happen", "at least you have Josiah" and "you don't want another one right now". These aren't bad comments, but it's been hard to deal with the whole situation as it is.
The truth of the matter is it might not happen-- we might not ever have another child in our home (if, by chance, it doesn't work out for some reason, we have already paid this agency and couldn't afford to start over).
The truth is that Josiah is absolutely amazing, but a large reason behind wanting another child is so Josiah can have a sibling. Also, there are families with multiple children in the world. Would it be comforting to a mother to hear "at least you have your oldest" if your youngest didn't exist? That child, the life, is precious and so wanted, whether or not we have another one in our home.
The truth is I'm not sure I want my children close in age, but the adoption process is unpredictable. We know people who were chosen very quickly and others who have waited for years. If we don't start the process earlier than when we are ready we may be a lot later than we can handle. And my wants regarding age separation between my kids ceased to matter the minute we realized we had absolutely no control over our family planning. I will gladly welcome our next family member into our home if they are both in diapers or the age is much different.
Knowing that our future families fate is in the hands of people we have only spoke with on the phone, that we are filtered through them first before potential birth mothers even have the opportunity to consider us, is hard. It is hard to trust others with your life when you don't know them.
And it's hard to again have the Lord answering "no" and "not yet" to my prayers. It's hard to be constantly in the wait and to hear the truths that are meant to be comforting-- that He hears, that He answers, that He wants something better for us-- when they don't seem to apply. I know this isn't the case, but it is hard and I'm tired.
So, no. Nothing has happened yet. We are always hopeful that someday soon we'll get the call. We trust that God knows what's best, even if it is just a family of three. And we keep on keepin' on, because that's what we do.
Thank you for your interest in our lives, we truly appreciate the encouragement, the prayers, the well wishes and the questions. I love hearing that people read this blog, it is such a mood booster to know that people care.
We are open to a child or children up to a few months old of any race with varying degrees of drug usage depending on the particular drug.
Process wise, this adoption process was easier because we knew the list of to-do's to get going so it was easy to get started.
Emotionally, this has been a harder adoption process than the first, at least for me. Most well meaning comments are "it will happen", "at least you have Josiah" and "you don't want another one right now". These aren't bad comments, but it's been hard to deal with the whole situation as it is.
The truth of the matter is it might not happen-- we might not ever have another child in our home (if, by chance, it doesn't work out for some reason, we have already paid this agency and couldn't afford to start over).
The truth is that Josiah is absolutely amazing, but a large reason behind wanting another child is so Josiah can have a sibling. Also, there are families with multiple children in the world. Would it be comforting to a mother to hear "at least you have your oldest" if your youngest didn't exist? That child, the life, is precious and so wanted, whether or not we have another one in our home.
The truth is I'm not sure I want my children close in age, but the adoption process is unpredictable. We know people who were chosen very quickly and others who have waited for years. If we don't start the process earlier than when we are ready we may be a lot later than we can handle. And my wants regarding age separation between my kids ceased to matter the minute we realized we had absolutely no control over our family planning. I will gladly welcome our next family member into our home if they are both in diapers or the age is much different.
Knowing that our future families fate is in the hands of people we have only spoke with on the phone, that we are filtered through them first before potential birth mothers even have the opportunity to consider us, is hard. It is hard to trust others with your life when you don't know them.
And it's hard to again have the Lord answering "no" and "not yet" to my prayers. It's hard to be constantly in the wait and to hear the truths that are meant to be comforting-- that He hears, that He answers, that He wants something better for us-- when they don't seem to apply. I know this isn't the case, but it is hard and I'm tired.
So, no. Nothing has happened yet. We are always hopeful that someday soon we'll get the call. We trust that God knows what's best, even if it is just a family of three. And we keep on keepin' on, because that's what we do.
Thank you for your interest in our lives, we truly appreciate the encouragement, the prayers, the well wishes and the questions. I love hearing that people read this blog, it is such a mood booster to know that people care.
