The profile is approved. The home study is ready. All of the i's have been dotted, t's are crossed, and multiple people have looked over everything with a fine tooth comb.
And now we wait.
On our end, things will change drastically. Our agency will go almost completely silent, we have nothing to do but participate in the recommended webinars and read the recommended books. Suddenly, instead of doing everything we can to get adoption stuff done, all we can do is think constantly about adoption without the release of having a to-do list.
It's a unique kind of wait, and some couples have waited for much longer than Jim and I did with Josiah. By asking for our profile statistics, we knew last time that we were being shown to approximately 15 potential birth mothers a month. That was 15 times a month someone looked at our profile and decided someone else was a better choice. It was there choice, and each woman or family has their own set of guidelines that we just didn't fit into. But knowing that behind the scenes we were being rejected 15 times a month wore on our hearts. The longer we waited the more we wondered if there was something seriously and obviously wrong with us that all of these people decided against us.
We know better than that, because we were chosen for a circumstance better than we could have imagined-- have you met our kid? Have you seen the birth pictures? Pretty amazing. God, in His infinite wisdom can pull out some pretty amazing stories after a long wait.
Though I can't speak for anyone on the other side or in the agency, while we wait and pray and hope that the right situation comes along a second time, everyone else will hopefully be rather busy.
Our agency looks at all of our preferences set by our profile and all of the preferences a potential birth mother has set and determines if we would be a good match. Once they have a list of potential adoptive parents that match her requirements, she is handed a pile of profiles to look through. She is then tasked with the almost impossible decision of choosing a family for a child based on 10 or fewer pages.
She will look over these profiles and do the required things of her-- medical visits, a questionaire about medical history, etc., and prepare to call the family she has chosen.
The agency doesn't only show us to potential birth mothers as they walk in, but they maintain our website and advertise their agency (through profiles like ours) at hospitals, women's resource centers, etc. They are constantly trying to get the word out and advertise us.
So while we twiddle our thumbs and wonder and worry, everyone else is working hard.
Then one glorious day, the right woman or family will open up our gray and mint green profile and see our smiling faces. They will read that we like music, that we are athletic, that we love dogs, and they will believe we are the right fit. We may not be aware of this decision for days or weeks after as the agency makes sure everything checks out, but then we'll get the call.
In a rare instance, we may get a call in the middle of the night saying there is a baby or woman ready to have a baby that has chosen us and we need to move NOW.
Either way, my phone is now a permanent fixture attached to me until that call is made, even if it doesn't happen soon.
Towards the end of our first wait, I was becoming a pretty sad and desperate person. This time, while my heart desires another child (maybe a girl? Though, another boy would be equally awesome), I can look at the little boy I love with all my heart and remember that God gave me this amazing little boy to raise, whether he gets a sibling or not.
And so, we wait.
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